Help Me

 Help is what I need. 

Its not a want its a necessity.

I don't know what I should do.

Can't seem to pull through.

Let it go.

If only If I knew how.

If I could I be like wow.

Shit doesn't work like that.

Facts.

Not everybody can just forget the past.

All the stress and the anxiety attacks.

Is anyone there ?

It's really not fair.

I can keep saying that but it won't change.

I am same.

Same as you and the people who exist.

To not lose anyone is my fondest wish.

The cause is probable.,

 Is it possible?

When I am in pain that's when I can write.

Right about all the stuff that isn't right.

With myself and what goes on around me.

I need help Lord, Please.

Help me get through my fears and doubts

Show me to the way out.

Individuality.

Life.

Am I right?

Its tough.

Can be Rough.

We all have one.

We keeping going until we are done.

 

 

Am I Special At All ?

When it comes to me loving someone, I fuck up quite a lot.

Before I even know what the problem is, the relationship stops.

I lose interest in a lot of things that matter.

Trying to hold on but my faith, it just shatters.

My faith gets replaced but my fears and doubts.

Is there even a way out.?

A way out from all this madness.

The light that shines over the darkness.

 I struggle to walk with this heavy heart.

As the days go by, its starts to break apart.

I wish it was simple fix with glue.

Where I will go next I have no clue.

Someone told me. You'll be happy without me.

Where did that come from? Right now I'm dying.

 Pain intensifies with each step I take.

I really wish I could correct that mistake.

I feel as if I just always wrong.

Am I a special person ? I have yet to see.

What does destiny has in store for me?

The Pathway.

I don't know what to say.

I feel like I should go away.

Some far away place.

Where no one would see my face.

I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.

Its time to walk out that door.

Love is it really for me?

I can't really keep anybody.

Its sucks when you are the one feel the pain.

Holding on to pain just makes me go insane.

So when they say holding hurts more its not him/her.

Its the pain from something, one or the other.

I don't want to hold a grudge or compare.

Its not really Fair.

If I have done to anyone, I am sorry.

Please Forgive me.

If you read this, this is not a note.

Its an apology, a way for me to cope.

Its not easy on me at all.

Only took a second for me fall.

Fell right onto the dirt.

Now I have to change my shirt.

Standing up now, where do I  go from here.

Start with the path of no fear.

Will it Ever Be ?

Mad as hell

Trying to get it over it. Oh Well

How the fuck am I suppose to forget that shit.

Motherfucker, I aint that quick.

I can't just get over shit like really fast.

For me the shit just last

Can I escape the loop in my past?

Where I repeat the same mistakes as before.

I don't want go out the door.

I'll admit that I am afraid.

Afraid that I will stay.

Afraid to enjoy the day.

Lord please help me, because I don't know what else to do.

All of this Lord. Do I have to go through this is.

Man I wish this problem didn't exist.

Still going through the doubt.

Still trying to figure shit out.

When will it ever be okay for me.?

 Can I ever be happy?

Figure it out

 Why do I want to cry.

Why do I keeping asking myself why.

I don't know why I keep thinking about it.

Is it something I missed?

It keeps clawing at me.

Some big important piece.

I keep rattling my brain trying to solve the puzzle.

Its like running and jumping over hurdles.

I don't like pain and I don't like when it lasts.

After all it is all in the past.

Even still I have to keep going.

I can't just sit here and do nothing.

I have to bear the sadness.

Bear to with what is ever left.

Will I ever be okay?

Don't I deserve to have a good day.

Right now I have to get through the sea of doubt.

I don't know how but hey I have to figure it out.

 

A Moment of Regret.

I...... 

 I am in a lot of  pain.

It hurts so much knowing that things will never be the same.

 I long for person who I dearly miss.

I fall in love so easily, Do I know what love is?

 Is it when I look into your eyes and see joy?

 Doing things we have common, the things that we enjoy.

 Laying on the bed and Sharing stories with each other.

Having a passionate moment in any kind of weather.

Trusting to be there when it matters most.

Holding my hand when I don't know where to go.

That is love or at least to me that is.

I wanted to be there but the moment starts to fizz.

Arguing and not saying anything. Just a bunch of miscommunication.

Our hearts now are not even the same location.

 that time has come and that person isn't there.

My heart aches so much due to the fact I care.

It's not fair.

 Now I am back at square one.

All I see are clouds but, where is the sun?